Sunday, March 16, 2008
The Primer: Have You Ever Been?
Per popular demand (i.e., a couple of friends saying that they enjoy my posts regarding relationships), I am writing today about a phenomenon that perhaps you have experienced. Imagine that you are dating someone for a considerable amount of time. During that time, you counsel that person about their growth areas, and you're patient as he/she works on them. The person is definitely a work-in-progress, but you have deemed him/her worth the effort. Then you get dumped. And faster than you can take the person's number out of speed dial, your ex is suddenly dating someone else. AND... all of those flaws you worked on during the time that you were together? They're magically fixed! You actually succeeded in making your partner a better person...for someone else's benefit!
If this sounds familiar, then I am here to inform you that you have indeed served as "the primer." You have prepared a person you cared about to be a wonderful mate...for the next person they date. Primers deserve a great deal of thanks in this society. It really should be something that employers look favorably upon if it's mentioned in a cover letter. Or perhaps primers should receive some type of tax deduction. If you have in fact been the beneficiary of a primer, be sure to call and express your appreciation. Or maybe there's a card on hallmark.com for this exact occasion. 'Til next time!
If this sounds familiar, then I am here to inform you that you have indeed served as "the primer." You have prepared a person you cared about to be a wonderful mate...for the next person they date. Primers deserve a great deal of thanks in this society. It really should be something that employers look favorably upon if it's mentioned in a cover letter. Or perhaps primers should receive some type of tax deduction. If you have in fact been the beneficiary of a primer, be sure to call and express your appreciation. Or maybe there's a card on hallmark.com for this exact occasion. 'Til next time!
Comments:
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I utterly disagree, if you see too many "flaws" in the person you are dating,the lights should go off. Why bother? Step away. You just may get your feelings hurt. There are certain characteristics that you may not like. But, everbody has them. Why would you date that person in the first place? What was attractive about that person? Something, because you decided to stay.
There is no balance in the relationship if you try to play Mommy or Daddy. When you date someone you should accept that individual for just that . . . their "individuality". If you went around changing every person you were interseted in then they would be little clones of you. Are you looking for a serious relationship or a child in an adult body ? Or, are you that narcissistic you need to see a little of you, in them ? Why would one need to "counsel" an adult? Were they in drug rehab ? Stop trying to change people and I'm sure the relationships would be more successful
There is no balance in the relationship if you try to play Mommy or Daddy. When you date someone you should accept that individual for just that . . . their "individuality". If you went around changing every person you were interseted in then they would be little clones of you. Are you looking for a serious relationship or a child in an adult body ? Or, are you that narcissistic you need to see a little of you, in them ? Why would one need to "counsel" an adult? Were they in drug rehab ? Stop trying to change people and I'm sure the relationships would be more successful
# posted by 
: 3/17/08, 2:13 PM
: 3/17/08, 2:13 PM
The story of my life!!!! I have stuck through SOOOO many flaws, and helped men grow as individuals (not into mini-clones as the previous comment indicated)and they have actually turned out to be great mates. Just not for me. I actually don't have ill feelings towards the demise of our relationships because they were not right for me. But most of them will tell you themselves, it was their time with me that helped them grow and see what it is they want in life. I just wish a "primer" had hit up my husband before me..... :)
# posted by : 5/29/08, 10:41 AM
: 5/29/08, 10:41 AM
Girl, you know I primed my ex for 7.5 years. I haven't the slightest clue if he is dating someone else, but a good friend once told me that whoever my husband will be, will have been primed as well. I guess someone's gotta do the dirty work.
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# posted by : 5/30/08, 10:41 AM
: 5/30/08, 10:41 AM << Home
