Friday, October 16, 2009
Thirty's the New Fifty: Am I Aging Prematurely?
It's Friday night and I'm so excited that the weekend is here so I can watch my DVR'd television shows, catch up on work from home, and squeeze in a couple of gym classes. Yawn. This state of affairs, along with a couple of other recent developments, point to the fact that I'm evolving into a senior citizen.1) My grandma got me a kitten (pictured right). Although Grady is such a fun character and companion, I am now that retired schoolteacher lady with the cat. Not good.
2) I was recently featured in Teen Voices, a publication written by high school girls, and in reading over the interview, I realized what a fuddy duddy I sound like! Click the link and see for yourself:
Have you had any "I'm not a kid anymore" moments as of late? Please commiserate.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Wedding Woes: Etiquette, Installment #1
I know I hurt a few people's feelings with my Facebook Etiquette series, so I can't imagine the heat I'm going to take for this one. Just returned from a lovely wedding in California, where my friends Brian and Danielle (pictured right) did not commit any of the following offenses:1) Friday Nuptials - Yes, they're cheaper. I get it. But seriously, you might as well send out invitations that read, "Friends and Family, we are asking you to take Friday off of work if you want a chance in hell of making it to our ceremony on time." Not okay!
2) No "Plus One"s - If I'm going to a wedding where a bunch of my college friends are reuniting, then I'm okay with not getting an "and guest" with my invitation. But if I hardly know anybody there, or if your wedding is on a remote island in the Caribbean, can I please bring someone? I promise my gift will cover both our meals (okay, well maybe not both, but if you're spending that kind of money per plate, then my date is just a drop in the bucket!).
3) Forced Bouquet Toss - If there are fewer than five single women at your reception, please don't throw the bouquet. I don't think I need to explain why it's just a sad little sight to behold.
More to come, but I want to give you a chance to chime in.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
School Improvement: A Matter of Principal
I can't believe it's back-to-school time already. In honor of the position I just left, here's an article I wrote for The Root on the importance of the school leader when it comes to educational reform:I will miss the staff and students at Another Course to College a ton! Thank you to the entire school community for the biggest learning experience of my life thus far.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
More Facebook Advice: There's Only Room for One Beyonce
I thought I'd written enough about how to properly choose and label pics, but I left out an important word of caution: stop complimenting yourself! It doesn't matter how beautiful the photo is of you; never should you have to place a caption underneath it saying, "Me looking gorgeous at the beach." Aside from the fact that it's grammatically incorrect, including such a tagline in fact begs the following question: If you were really looking fabulous in the picture, why did you have to tell us?
Long story short, only Bey is allowed to declare herself a diva. Anyone else is just pulling one big Sasha Fake.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
The Apostrophe: What Did It Ever Do to You?
It's such a cute little punctuation mark. Why do people abuse it so? I'm not sure what's worse: when folks don't include it (ex. "Its so hot outside!") or when they include it incorrectly (ex. "I went on vacation with the Smith's."). Some quick rules:1) Its = a possessive (ex. "The cat licked its paws.") This is the only way that this word should not have an apostrophe. You can maybe get a pass for leaving it out in a quick text message. But even then, you're running the risk of looking grammatically inadequate.
2) Stop using apostrophes to pluralize! If you want to talk about more than one of something, just throw the S on it.
If you're feeling smug, as if these are basic principles of good English, let's move to the advanced class:
Which of the following is correct?
a) Chris' sneakers
b) Chris's sneakers
c) Chrises sneakers
Post a comment with your vote... :-)
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Roses are Red, Contestants aren't Brown: Come on, ABC!
The Bachelorette is one of my guilty TV pleasures, and has been since the first season. Click here to read my piece on The Root imploring the producers to diversify the show. In the meantime, any thoughts on whom Jillian should pick Monday night? I'm rooting for Kiptyn all the way, although I can relate to Ed, the guy who had to leave the show for a second because he had too much work to do at his job. Shouldn't that happen more often on reality television? Who has professions that allow for six-week long vacations? Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Beauty on a Budget: Recession Rules Revealed
My hair was in a tragic state this morning. I'd been trying to do the "wash and wear" thing, but sometimes my mane does not cooperate. I could have blown it dry myself, but then I remembered it was Wednesday, which equals $20 Wash and Set Day at the Dominican salon down the street. Wash and Set is really a misnomer, because they wash, set, and then blow out your hair at a degree of heat that will scare it straight for at least a week. For the price of a grande latte and a scone (or two) at Starbucks, I left the hairdresser with a sleek 'do. That's when the sun decided to come out, and I immediately felt the loss of the sunglasses that I'd left behind in DC this weekend at my sister's bachelorette party (I'd like to make up some sordid story about how the glasses got lost, but alas, they're sitting on Nadine's kitchen counter as we speak). Knowing how often I lose a pair of shades (or break them), I knew that I needed a low price point. This is where teeny-bopper stores such as Forever 21 come in handy. I found an equivalent establishment and was thrilled by their selection of $10 sunglasses. When I brought my choice to the register, the salesgirl even offered me a second pair for half price. I resisted (the five dollars had already been spent as my tip at the salon).
I headed back outside, excited to don my oversized, durable, plastic, wanna-be-hiding-from-the-paparazzi new purchase, but I didn't slide on the sunglasses fast enough to hide my view of the chipping nail polish on my toes. Luckily, I was across the street from my favorite mani-pedi spot. Not wanting to spend $25 on a full pedicure, I instead requested a "polish change," which is awfully similar to a pedicure except your feet don't get as wet. Judge me if you will, but it cost me $10.
So in a matter of three hours, I went from a frizzy haired, squinting, crusty toed chick to being the poster child for summer chic - all for forty dollars (tips excluded). Have your own economic eccentricities to share? Post away.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
When Texting Goes Wrong: Tales From the Dark Side
Since the text message is officially the new email, I must devote at least one entry to the texting phenomenon. Admittedly, I was a little late getting on the textual bandwagon (until just a few months ago, I was still trying to type substantial messages using only a numeric keypad), but now that I've finally upgraded my phone, I am as reliant on sending and receiving messages as my high school students are. Well, maybe not as reliant. They report sending an average of 150 messages per day. Yikes.So recently my girl tells me about a text exchange between her and the guy whom she's dating:
HER: hey. i was just thinking about you and thought i'd say hello. :-)
GUY: Thanks.
Ouch. Sometimes the absence of a tone of voice makes a text so much harder to decipher. Was the guy being rude, or was there really appreciation embedded in that one word reply?
Got any magnificent or mortifying text banter to share? You know what to do.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Dress Code at the Club: Has It Gone Too Far?
As an educator who spends more than enough of my time talking to my male high school students about pulling up their pants, and to my girls about wearing longer skirts, I understand the importance of a dress code. I do believe that oftentimes, what we wear can influence behavior (anyone seen two men in business suits get into a bar fight recently? didn't think so). However, I went out the other weekend and saw the sign pictured right and thought, "Have I lost the right to dress comfortably?" The straw that broke the camel's back for me with this litany of banned attire was the one stating that women can not wear flat shoes. Really? I am ordered by the powers that be to wear heels? Is the thinking behind this that I won't be able to run as fast, should I commit a crime while inside the establishment? And is my annoyance at the specificity of these clothing guidelines something that men have been dealing with for years? All I know is that I should be able to wear my black patent leather BCBG sandals if I want to, even if they don't make me three inches taller. Am I asking too much?Thursday, May 21, 2009
College Reunion: You CAN Go Home, Again
Just had a fantastic weekend in Philly at my ten year Penn reunion. Here are a few things that made it particularly awesome:
1) No More Drama: For those former students of mine who read my blog and currently attend college, you might wonder exactly how long it takes for girls to stop hating each other, for heartache from a first love to subside, or for you to figure out exactly who you are. The answer is ... ten years. It was a very cool feeling to be genuinely happy for every single person in your class, from the roommate you always envied to the guy who dated you and all your friends.
2) Thirty's the New Twenty: I'm not sure if it's because working out was something that only athletes did when we were in college, but the entire Class of '99 looks better today than we did at graduation. It's so reassuring - like our best years are yet to come.
3) We're Doing Big Things While Enjoying the Small Stuff: I was honored to have so many folks come out to support my book signing on Saturday. It's unbelievable how much everyone has accomplished in just one decade, both personally and professionally. On Sunday evening, I watched my own classmate and friend deliver the keynote address at the College of Arts and Sciences commencement. But what makes these kind of experiences even more surreal is the humility with which folks climb the ladders of success. No one is wearing their degrees, awards, or paychecks on their sleeves. Instead, we're hanging at Mad4Mex, enjoying Raspberry Margaritas, laughing about old times. That's what reuniting is all about.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Language Lesson: Helpful Hints During School Vacation
Boston Public Schools are on break this week, so I thought it might be a good time to tax your brain with important information regarding commonly misused words:1) ULTERIOR: I told my friend the other day that I thought his girl had ulterior motives (we were gmail chatting), and he quickly corrected me. "Dude - you mean ALTERIOR?" Um, no. That is not a word, though it would make sense if it were.
2) MOOT: If another person tells me that something is a "MUTE POINT," I might scream. The word is MOOT. It's not even pronounced the same. Some of you are skeptical right now. If you don't believe me, ask Webster.
3) 360: I'm cheating a little bit with this one, but what's up with people saying that someone did a "COMPLETE 360," meaning that they abruptly changed their behavior. That would be a 180. Remember Geometry class? If you don't, I think they still sell those plastic protractors at Office Max.
Other terms/words/phrases on which people need to be schooled? Post away.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Fifth and Final Facebook Etiquette Installment: Stop Trying So Hard
I know that I already spent some time schooling people on status updates, but apparently a follow up to the introductory course is necessary. I've already addressed the folks whose updates are entirely too mundane ("Joe is at work." "Jill is eating."), but now we have people who are trying to get far too deep . . . dare I say, existential. Examples: "Robert wonders what it all really means." "Candace is searching for an answer." Seriously - if you were really about getting at an essential truth, you'd be reading Nietzche, not posting photos of your sixth grade field trip to Canobie Lake Park.
Even worse than the enigmatic status updates are the ones that are desperate cries for help/attention/sympathy. "Keisha is ready to give up on dating altogether." "Kevin has been playing Sade on repeat all day, and now feels even worse." Obviously, there are times that we need to rely on our loved ones to offer some words of support. But should they come in the form of public comment? ("Keep your head up, Kevin. She isn't worth it.") Phone a friend if you're in crisis, please!
One last general piece of advice for all writers of online content. Stop writing "lol" at the end of your sentences. "Lol" is a response to someone else, not a tagline after your own joke. If it's funny, we'll laugh. We don't need a cue.
Sorry there's no picture with this post. But if you need a visual to accompany some of these bad online habits, you might only need to look in the mirror - lol. (See what I mean?)
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Leaving Voicemail Messages: Just the Facts, Man
I've been MIA on the blog front, with good reason. I'll save the good reason for another day, but wanted to check in with a quick telephone pet peeve. While at work today, I missed a call on my cell phone from a friend to whom I haven't spoken in years. "Hey, Rachel. Call me when you get this." So immediately I'm rushing to return the call, thinking that there's some sort of catastrophe going on. No, not so much. He just wanted some writing advice. Could that not have been included in the message to avoid the panic that comes along with vague voicemails? If you're going to speak after the beep, make it count. Other phone annoyances you'd like to share? Leave a message after the post. :-)Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Fourth Facebook Installment: "It's Complicated"
Someone posted a comment on my second Facebook installment: "What about men and women who are in serious relationships but don't acknowledge them on Facebook?" Well, Anonymous, that's a tricky one. Because while it may initially appear as shady that someone has no mention of a significant other on his/her page, it is considerably less annoying than those people who seemed to have created Facebook accounts for the sole purpose of broadcasting their relationships to all of their high school classmates. Are you guilty? Here's a checklist:1) Is your profile picture a shot of you and your romantic partner in an embrace? (Not only is this an example of "forcing it," but it is also breaking the rules on profile pictures stated clearly in my third Facebook Installment.)
2) Do you caption the pictures in your photo albums with extremely obvious and unnecessary identifiers, such as "Me and the hubby" (underneath a wedding portrait)?
3) Are your status updates often related to mundane activities that involve your other half? ("Pete is going to get something to eat with the best girlfriend ever.")
Kidding! I actually think it's sweet that folks are so in love and want to let the world know it. Pictured above are Christine and Kevin in one of my favorite candid shots of happy coupledom. But to get back to Anonymous's question, I think that I'll leave "relationship status" as a discretionary item. I mean, if you're on Facebook to promote your new business venture, then I don't think it's wrong for you to omit that special someone from your page. The only thing that I absolutely forbid is choosing the label, "It's Complicated" to describe your current romantic state. It is way too much information, and frankly, a little pathetic. It becomes a lot pathetic when all of your friends get an update on their news feed that reads like this: Mary went from "In a relationship" to "It's complicated." Suddenly concerned acquaintances are posting sympathy notes on your wall. Good grief.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Exit Interviews With My Exes: An Unusual Valentine's Day Project
In light of the Hallmark holiday, a few folks took interest in a recent experiment of mine where I went back and got the real deal from guys I've dated. Here's a link to the interview on National Public Radio:http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=100677035
Or you can read my article on The Root:
http://www.theroot.com/views/exit-interviews-my-exesHave a fabulous February 14th!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Facing Facts on Facebook: Part 3
The focus of today's Facebook lesson is photography. Let's address some issues that are in dire need of attention:Profile Pictures: This is a problem area for many users. What folks fail to understand is that a profile picture is intended for others to recognize you upon sight. This means that a portrait of our President is not an appropriate profile shot, nor is a picture taken from 500 feet away, nor is a snapshot of you and six of your closest buddies. Now there are some gray zones that provide exception to the picture's being a close-up of your face. A recent baby qualifies you for a free pass, as does a recent book release (hee hee). But in general, please stick to the zoom-in on your pearly whites. The photo to the right is a great choice for a profile pic - nice job, Sharifa, for being creative while still following Facebook etiquette.
Tagging Photos: For those hold-outs who still haven't logged on (and there's a great article about you guys on Slate.com: http://www.slate.com/id/2208678/), there's a feature on Facebook called tagging, where you can label all the people in any photo that you upload. For instance, if someone tags a picture of me in an album created by someone else, then everyone who is my friend can see that photo. Here's the thing: people are showing no discretion around whom they choose to tag. JUST BECAUSE IT IS A GOOD PICTURE OF YOU, DOESN'T MEAN IT'S A GOOD PICTURE OF ME, DARN IT! Check a couple of things before you go clicking on my face and announcing to cyberspace that I was at your party: 1)Is my hair in place? 2)Am I looking at the camera? 3)Would I be embarrassed if my high school students saw this shot?
As always, the floor is yours. It's a Facebook free-for-all.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
To the Point: My Debut on Talk Radio
I'm back from a weekend in DC that defies description. Concert, parties, balls, and most importantly - being present for the swearing-in of our 44th President - they were all experiences I will talk about for a lifetime, particularly the energy and unity of a crowd of strangers who came together for a singular purpose.
On Monday, I was invited to participate in a conversation on a syndicated radio show based in LA called "To the Point." The panel discussed the significance of the Inauguration on the heels of Dr. King's birthday. I come in at minute 27 and speak on a variety of topics, from my students' newfound passion for politics to why Michelle Obama is particularly inspiring. Give it a listen when you have some spare time.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Descending on DC: Inauguration Weekend
I, along with everyone else and their great-grandmother, will be headed to the nation's capital in a few days for the biggest celebration of our lifetime. TheRoot.com posted an article I wrote on the subject called "Barack Like Me" - be sure to check it out:http://www.theroot.com/views/barack-me?auto=true
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Crickets: Hardly an Endangered Species
You might be surprised to learn that most of us have frequent exposure to the pesky creature known as the cricket. I'll give you a couple of examples: I have a meeting with publisher about an upcoming book project; meeting goes well and he tells me to send him the first chapter. I send it as soon as I reach the nearest laptop, and wait eagerly for his response.Crickets.
Another instance: you go on a fantastic date where both parties talk, laugh, and vibe for hours on end. At the end of the evening, your companion says, "I'll call you tomorrow." The next day, you make sure your cell phone doesn't leave your sight.
Crickets.
It's funny - I actually googled "cricket" to find the image pictured above, and there were so many more pictures of people playing the sport of cricket than of the actual bug. Did you know that cricket is the most popular bat and ball sport in the world? See, reading this blog is as educational as it is fun.
Other cricket encounters? Don't hesitate to share.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Free Facebook Advice: Part 2 of 879
I received a ton of messages after my last post, asking follow-up questions around proper Facebook etiquette. Here are a few samples. Hopefully they can be helpful to the masses:Dear Rachel,
I just got engaged. Is it too "extra" to post a photo of the ring as my profile picture?
Sincerely,
Amped that He Put a Ring On It
Dear Amped,
Your excitement is understandable. For that reason, you have a one week window to display a profile picture that boasts your new found hardware. Pictured here is a photo of my sister's ring that her boo sprung on her during our vacation in Dominica last week. She thinks Facebook is a weird, scary, stalker-ish phenomenon (she is the smart one in the family), so she won't be posting this picture anywhere. But it would be totally okay if she did (for seven days maximum). After that point, you're forcing it. Note: For a definition of "forcing it," see my April 14 2008 post.
Dear Rachel,
My birthday is today and I'm overwhelmed with greetings on my Facebook wall. The well wishes are much appreciated, but am I expected to respond to each person's note?
Thank you,
Wall Weary
Dear Weary,
It would be quite time consuming to respond to fifty "Happy Birthdays." Instead, put a thank you in your Status Update and send individual messages to people who wrote something substantial.
That's all for now. Happy New Year!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Facebook Etiquette: Can We Establish Some Ground Rules?
This post is so serious that I'm not even accompanying it with a photo. There are so many taboo Facebook practices to address that it can be overwhelming to the average reader, so I'll just tackle two at a time. Let's get down to business:
1) Don't write what should be a personal message on somebody's wall. Here is the text of a message I saw on a friend's page the other day: "Whassup dude. Sorry I've been out of touch. I'm seeing somebody down here in Atlanta and I think she could be the one. I've been hemmed up, just chillin with her 24/7. I know, never thought you'd see the day, right?" Um, do you not realize that standard email is still an option through the Facebook system? Not everything has to be a public declaration. What's upsetting is I think that people do understand this, and the wall posting is simply a way to pronounce all of their business to be of national concern.
2) Speaking of folks overestimating their importance, let's rein in these "Status Updates" a little bit. For those of you still unfamiliar with Facebook (and really, if you're still on MySpace, I hope you're under eighteen years old), there's an opportunity for you to write what you're doing at the current moment. This is a fun feature, especially for particularly clever friends who find ways to make their status updates conversation pieces (i.e. "Barry is wondering why the news stations need to say that throwing shoes is a sign of disrespect. Isn't it obvious?"). But as with any good thing in life, people abuse it and post the most mundane experiences for all to see: Mary is working at her computer; Michael is hungry. Perhaps even more disturbing than the phenomenon of people posting the minutia of their existences is the fact that they seem to be on Facebook.com in the oddest places. I kid you not - my boy recently observed the following status update: Karen is in church. Seriously?
Monday, December 15, 2008
Test Your Worth: Are You Googleable?
Do you think that fifty years into the future, a long lost love will be able to say, "I tried to find you for years to no avail" with a straight face? It's becoming increasingly impossible to disappear with the lasting technological footprint that we all create in our everyday lives. While it may feel like a slight violation of privacy to have people pull up your company website and suddenly read your bio, I maintain that the ability to be Googled is a necessary status symbol in today's society.Entering your name in the text box of America's favorite search engine should produce something. Anything. If your name is John Smith, it will produce millions of things. But you personally should have a few things once you've hit your college years: sports records, science projects, summer internships, an article in your school paper... Does your Facebook or Linked In page count? Debatable.
Pictured is my dad at his computer in the Caribbean, Googling me to see what's new in my life. Luckily, I'll be able to catch him up in person when I head down there next week. I'll be sunbathing while my poor Boston compatriots are pulling the shovels out of their basements. Ha!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
"Has Oprah Called You Yet?" And Other Questions Not to Ask a Writer
I don't know if anyone else will be as amused by this as I am, but this clip by author Dennis Cass about his experience as a published writer trying to market his book made me fall off my chair. It's a good education for those of you who know writers (for example, my friends and associates) and have not yet learned that while we authors are good at crafting books, we aren't always so great at getting the word out. This is why we depend on you, our loved ones, to buy as many copies as possible and tell everyone you know that they should do the same. :-)
Monday, November 17, 2008
Barack and Michelle: Because the Huxtables are So Eighties
Here's a clip from last night's 60 Minutes of the First Couple discussing a few light family topics. The truly classic moment is where Barack schools Steve Kroft about the respect that needs to be paid to mothers-in-law. His swagger comes out in true Obamian fashion. What do you love most about Barack and Michelle? Because you know you're as obsessed with them as the rest of us are.
Watch CBS Videos Online
Watch CBS Videos Online
Sunday, November 16, 2008
On Shelves Now: Nyquil and Novels
My friend called me this evening to tell me that she saw my book for sale in CVS. Woo hoo! This is a first. I'm excited. Here's my question: if I had a book signing at the drug store, would people come?Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Yes, We Did: Change is Here!
I'm so tempted to post the picture of President Obama (ah, how I love the sound of that!) and me for a third time, but it's getting a little obnoxious. Instead, here's one of my girl Rachel and me at an Election Watch party in Boston this evening. I'm glad I came home before the announcement was made, because I really wanted to be by myself to process the significance of what we all just lived through tonight. So where were you when Barack Obama was voted our 44th President, and what were you thinking? Share your stories.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Clutch Magazine: A Salute to Scribes
Hope you had a fun-filled Halloween, the one day of the year that it's perfectly acceptable to dress like a pimp. Don't ask me what my costume was exactly. I had a busy week and had to throw together a random black and orange ensemble.Clutch Magazine is featuring a different author for every day in November. Guess who's up first?
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
That Novel I've Been Working On: The Family Guy Perspective
I'm so glad that I've already published enough books that no one could ever mock me when I say I'm working on a novel. See the segment below for more clarity (and to laugh harder than you've laughed all day).
Family Guy - Brian's Novel
Family Guy - Brian's Novel
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Single Ladies: Put a Ring on It
My girl Beyonce strikes again with the new female anthem. Chorus: "If he liked it, then he shoulda put a ring on it." Translation: Stop claiming guys you're not married to, because if they were really about being with you, they would've proposed by now. Or am I translating this too harshly? I'd love folks to chime in on this one. Does marriage define the level of commitment?
On another note, I'm hitting the gym twice as often after seeing this video.
Friday, October 03, 2008
Breaking News: I Like Kids After All!
So I'm at my girl Anita's baby shower (who is still looking more fly than the majority of women who are not even pregnant). This dude walks in and heads straight in my direction. He starts playing with my toes and proceeds to climb right into my lap. Oh, I forgot to mention that he's fifteen months old. Meet Tyler, pictured right.I was truly shocked by the level of attention I received from this little cutie, because kids and I don't usually get along. This may surprise people who know I've worked in schools my entire adult life. But there's a distinction. I love teenagers. They are my favorite folks in the world. Actually, any kid in double digits will do just fine. But babies? They're a different breed. And frankly, they're a bit frightening. However, friendly toddlers like Ty make me believe that I might be a secret fan of the little ones after all.
Still, teenagers remain my number one priority and they are definitely the most entertaining people on earth. One of my freshmen arrived at school this morning in a pink shirt, tie, slacks, and pink and white dress shoes. Why? Not because he had a presentation for class. Because he had a date after school. He looked smooth seven hours in advance so that he wouldn't have to waste time going home to change clothes. Where does this level of effort go when they become grown ups? Thoughts?
