Sunday, March 04, 2007
The Process of De-Socializing: A Vow of Hermitness
I am putting this in writing so that I can hold myself to it: I will not attend any social events beyond one-on-one dinners with friends until my next book is finished. Since the due date for the novel (entitled When The Lights Go Down) is April 15, this may not sound like a long time. But for someone who hasn't gone more than two weeks without going to a late night function, this is going to be challenging.
Obviously, the main reason for my decision is that I need to get disciplined and write, write, write. Going out late means that I wake up late the following day, and therefore miss precious hours of creative time. However, the resolution also comes out of the fact that I had an epiphany this weekend: I spend way too many hours per week with people who barely know me While they may know my about my favorite drink and my love of a good Beyonce song, they have never asked:
1) How has your work in the schools changed with your new position this year?
2) How are book sales going? Anything I can do to help?
or even a simple
3) How are you?
The superficiality of our interactions is so mid-twenties. Now that I'm knocking on thirty, I'd prefer to spend my social time with people with whom I can have meaningful dialogue. So I declare myself a hermit until tax day, at which point I will reassess my decision. Of course, I'll keep you posted. :-)
Obviously, the main reason for my decision is that I need to get disciplined and write, write, write. Going out late means that I wake up late the following day, and therefore miss precious hours of creative time. However, the resolution also comes out of the fact that I had an epiphany this weekend: I spend way too many hours per week with people who barely know me While they may know my about my favorite drink and my love of a good Beyonce song, they have never asked:
1) How has your work in the schools changed with your new position this year?
2) How are book sales going? Anything I can do to help?
or even a simple
3) How are you?
The superficiality of our interactions is so mid-twenties. Now that I'm knocking on thirty, I'd prefer to spend my social time with people with whom I can have meaningful dialogue. So I declare myself a hermit until tax day, at which point I will reassess my decision. Of course, I'll keep you posted. :-)
Comments:
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Thank goodness I'm not in that group of bums that Rachel is talking about. I'm always, like, "How are you?"
# posted by 
: 3/16/07, 11:07 AM
: 3/16/07, 11:07 AM
That's hillarious. A friend of mine recently brought up the same thing. The funny thing is that in social settings I get "how is the writting going?" or "written anything new?" but before I get a chance to answer the conversation shifts to which celebrity has the most believable weave!
At this age (approaching 30) my idea of socializing has changed. I've already made the vow not to go "clubbing" at 27 in an effort to be more disciplined. Doing pretty good I must say, now I only club when out of town. My social interactions are limited to small dinner parties at the homes of friends or the bar conveniently located next door to me for a game of pool. But you must admit, hitting the "night scene" makes for a good story!
At this age (approaching 30) my idea of socializing has changed. I've already made the vow not to go "clubbing" at 27 in an effort to be more disciplined. Doing pretty good I must say, now I only club when out of town. My social interactions are limited to small dinner parties at the homes of friends or the bar conveniently located next door to me for a game of pool. But you must admit, hitting the "night scene" makes for a good story!
# posted by : 4/9/07, 7:08 PM
: 4/9/07, 7:08 PM
I wouldn't be in such a rush to move past that mid twenties chat, I already miss the teenagerish conversations and interactions, and I'm a recent non teen :-P.
-RePo
-RePo
Shontae - So, which celebrity DOES have the most believable weave? I vote for either Nicholas Cage or Miss New York (from Flavor of Love)...
# posted by : 4/10/07, 2:08 AM
: 4/10/07, 2:08 AM
Why are you so concerned with the little details ? Your book writing, drive and focus have nothing in the world to do with anyone else.( Unless, you write to seek attention, and your focus is based on other people focusing on you ). Maybe, these people are not concerned with your books or how many you have sold. If they are spending time with you, then they already know how you are. If they talk to you on the phone, then I'm sure your going to start telling them about your day.( and it will soon be determined " how you are" ). You write because that's what your passionate about. You wanted to sell books to entertain the public. Again, that's what YOU wanted to do. Are you looking for a place of acceptance from this crowd of ... I'm assuming "males" ? Your not going to get it ! It sounds like you need to dig a little deeper and do some soul searching. You should read "Conversations with God", if you have not already read it. If you have, go back and read it again. It's By Neale Donald Walsch. After reading this book, you probably will not need to look for acceptance from friends,associates or people you are dating. ;-)
# posted by : 4/28/07, 12:00 AM
: 4/28/07, 12:00 AM
of course i write because i'm passionate about writing, not because i'm looking for some type of acceptance, as you suggest. but the reason that many of us write is also to share and receive feedback about the way we see the world. and we want that feedback most from the people to whom we are close. i would think that's reasonable. i also believe that to be a good writer, you have to be concerned with the "little details." that's what makes a book fun. it makes life a lot more intersting, too. ;-)
I know this is an old post, but I have to say that "Anonymous" (the jealous poster) seems a bit off, to put it mildly. She clearly missed your original point.
p.s. "Conversations with God" looks super creepy--a pyramid scheme with religion thrown in.
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p.s. "Conversations with God" looks super creepy--a pyramid scheme with religion thrown in.
# posted by : 6/10/08, 8:41 PM
: 6/10/08, 8:41 PM << Home
