Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Abode-ophobia: Fear Of My Own House
I've realized that I spend an underwhelming number of hours home alone. I don't consider myself a needy person; it's not that I have a problem being by myself. As a matter of fact, I love my quality solo time. I spend every Saturday going to pilates class, hitting up Starbucks, and then retreating into Barnes and Noble for hours. It's wonderful. But there's something about my own house. Maybe it's the fact that I rarely clean it, so it's unpleasantly dusty most of the time. It's also freezing. The windows are drafty and I'm really cheap when it comes to heat.
The bigger issue, though, is that I can't shake the feeling that my free time is somehow wasted when it's spent indoors. I have so little social space in my world now that I'm in this intense program for work, that I feel a pressure to use it effectively. If it's not meeting someone for dinner, it's going to the gym, hitting up a spot at night, or traveling out of town. There's a part of me that feels like a failure if I spent the majority of the weekend in the house.
What do people do in the house all day? I'm not a big DVD person. Nor am I online a lot. I don't play video games. I don't have roommates. I don't cook. Talking on the phone can be done anywhere. Other than a nice comfy bed when you're sleepy, what's the appeal?
The bigger issue, though, is that I can't shake the feeling that my free time is somehow wasted when it's spent indoors. I have so little social space in my world now that I'm in this intense program for work, that I feel a pressure to use it effectively. If it's not meeting someone for dinner, it's going to the gym, hitting up a spot at night, or traveling out of town. There's a part of me that feels like a failure if I spent the majority of the weekend in the house.
What do people do in the house all day? I'm not a big DVD person. Nor am I online a lot. I don't play video games. I don't have roommates. I don't cook. Talking on the phone can be done anywhere. Other than a nice comfy bed when you're sleepy, what's the appeal?
